something is in me that i cant control. I can never drive my car over a bridge without thinking of suicide. I can never look at a lake or an ocean without thinking of suicide. I mean, I wont linger on it all. But it will flash one me: suicide. Like a light going on. In the darkness. That there is an out helps you stay in. Get it? Otherwise, it could only be madness. And thats no fun, buddy.